The Motion Sick: The Devil’s pitchforks’ will that made me steal your pretzel. – Lisa’s guest blog

Here I am guest blogging since the motion sick tied me up and took me on their trip to Delaware. The day was nice, it started with some type of chain related mocha beverage and blueberry cake. As we went south the weather greatly improved over the already awesome weather we were having in Boston. Not like any of you folks know me or care (but maybe you should) but I love hot weather. I love windows down with swamp ass while you are driving weather. I would be a liar if I did not state that some of my motivations to go on this trip were: A: it was going to be like 80 down there. B: they were going to be playing near a beach. Both those things are magical. On the way down we were listening to some 80’s throw back tunes and some LOC (Left of Center for all of you who aren’t cool kids like me). There were many moments of corny car sing along… But as we went south the devil started calling for me… Maybe it was the warm weather that tempted me… Maybe it was the fake plants at the CT rest area… (Insert fake plant photo here)But I knew he was near and his fingers were firmly planted on my soul. I knew I was in his midst when I took the first bite of my Nathans corn dog nugget. The pitchfork was firmly planted in my fries. The rest of the folks thought it was just there to keep them from getting ketchup on their hands while eating fries, but I knew what it was really for, all red and pointy. I knew then what the devil had in store for me. I watched patiently as Starman ate his pretzel waiting for just the right moment. Then when he was down to his last bite I swooped in with the pitchfork like a dirty gull and stole that last bite of his pretzel. This intern made starman mad which is what the devil likes. Starman vowed to reap vengeance on me later. I told him the devil made me do it. For the rest of the trip I kept the devil’s pitchfork in the cuff of my jeans. Other good uses for the devil’s pitch folks could be Hole puncher (Maratha Stewart prefers this one), Lock Picker, Fry Eating Utensil, and Shiv.
After the devils will had been done we traveled onward. We arrived at the venue a few minutes before those guys had to play so that was my cue to look at the ocean and nearly cream my pants with excitement and check my text messages while taking a dump in a public restroom (I am a classy broad). The venue was a cool place right on the water the guys were on in the early part of the evening, so some families were finishing up dinner. They kicked all the kids out at 9PM and it was like 8:30.
While in the restroom, this mom was there with her kids… This is the conversation I overheard as I was texting and pooping… (Mom yelling) “Did you pee on the seat, don’t pee on the seat, what are you doing in there?… What is that on your arm?!!!” The obviously terrified kid replied, “chocolate”… Mom, “No it is not, I have seen enough poop in my day to know it is not chocolate, come here and let me wash that poop off right now”. That kid is going to have some hard core public pooping hang ups later on in life.
Now it is onto the set. The guys played a good rock show with good energy throughout the whole set. The local crowd seemed to be getting real into it. Also, you know your song is a hit when old people get up and dance to it. During thirty lives an old person impromptu dance party broke out which was for me the highlight of the evening. I had a quiet internal chuckle about the whole thing… Cause shit like that is amazing in the same way that bowling alleys are.
The rest of the evening I spent wandering around trying to not look too much like a hanger-oner. Which I don’t want to get pigeon holed into doing since that would totally kill my cred and cause me some stress. I would like to give props to The Influence for A: the lead singers wicked amazing stylish bow tie. B: for their Michael Jackson cover. I am a sucker for anything off of Thriller even if MJ is not singing it. They kind of sounded like A Perfect Circle meets Incubus so if you are into that you should check them out cause that dude has one stylish bowtie. The party award goes to the folks in Wayne Supergenius, It is my guess that they were the folks throwing the ripper at the hotel that night and they were grinding in public with their fans. Now there is some team playing. I think I also caught some of the Ben Jelen set which was good I had a moment alone with it and I think it is the type of music one would have a moment alone with. It was mellow and kind of sad, not like crying in your beer more like crying in your raspberry Stoli and Sprite.
In the battle of Leesa vs. Starman, the Starman totally won the 2nd round by randomly stealing and then shot gunning my Corona. Soon after that we left the show to go score some food and found this sweet diner. I heart diners. I have this rule against eating at chains when in new places. You always have to go with the local fair (rest stations when traveling are an exception of course). But since I pig out when I am on the road I ate turkey, it made me sleepy and the rest is history.
In an effort to keep this short, the next day I found a giant horseshoe crab shell at this little wild life preserve a block away from the hotel. It now sits at my apartment next to my roommates matching one. The weather was still awesome but the coffee sucked. I ate some BK at a rest station. That night I hung out in Queens for the first time ever, got some good Italian eats, drove past some street that my nemesis used to live on in Manhattan, and hung out drinkin’ beer with Travis’s friend Tony (who is amazing and someday I vow to eat more sliders than him.). The next day we drove back and I ate some nasty rest station breakfast. Back to the real world like back to the future folks…