Boston Band Crush Archived Article: One Night Band Recap Crush: The Champagne of Bands

The Show

Despite the simpering pile of nutty I spewed in my dipshitty pregame interview, I arrived at the Middle East at 10am with no trepidation whatsoever. In real life, I’m a pretty affable guy and have been told I’m easy to work with, so I figured I’d get along just fine with whomever I was matched. My only concern would be that someone would take the whole thing too seriously and it’d be high school gym class all over again. Just to be sure, I strapped on my dodgeball-proof helmet, opened my envelope, and prepared to meet my new band.

Jackpot. Not only did I get to share the stage with three of the most charismatic front men in Boston, but I also inherited drummer Cullen, runner-up of 2007’s Nicest Guy In the Universe Competition. (The winner? A surprising Adam “Pacman” Jones). But how would all these egos that are used to being the center of attention coexist during the creative process?

It turned out to be no problem whatsoever. We took the “Let’s take turns doing what we each do best” approach to songwriting. This way, there was a guarantee that at least ONE of us would feel comfortable during each song.

We started with my style ­ hooky power pop. I quickly came up with the basics of the song as Duncan slowly watched all his metal cred sashay out the door on the wings of imaginary pre-teen Hanson fans. I included lyrics about having a crush on Sophia because I wanted to kiss up to the judges. I know the BBC people were SAYing this wasn’t a competition, but I don’t believe them. I still half expect to see my tiara in the mail one of these days.

Then, Bo combined his innovative guitar work with Tad’s bombastic vocal pyrotechnics to create a power ballad, leading to the following conversation:

Brendan: Cullen, are we singing ooh’s or aah’s on that part?
Duncan: Wow. I’ve never had this conversation in a band before.
Brendan: I’ve never NOT had this conversation in a band before.

Finally, Duncan put his wizard hands to work and came up with a hardcore punk song. While I never actually had any street cred to lose, I am pretty sure I lost a few layers of skin on my fingers trying to keep up with him.

As for the cover, I don’t even remember how we ended up choosing the Pixies. Someone thought of it and we all said “Sure.” It only has like 4 notes in it, so I was pretty chuffed to not have to learn anything too complicated, as I’m sure my hands would be useless after playing Duncan’s masterpiece.

When we arrived at the show, we were getting more and more excited to play. We kept pulling each other aside and whispering in hushed tones, “Man… I REALLY can’t wait to get up there.” We were pretty thrilled with our songs, but moreso with the lineup of personalities we had. I knew that when the bell rang, we were all going to bring the ridiculousness to a whole new level.

Despite the fact that I couldn’t hear what I was playing or singing at ALL on stage, I feel like we represented ourselves well. We gave everything of ourselves to each other and to the audience. Even though we had only performed for about 20 minutes, we got off the stage exhausted, covered in sweat, and pumping with adrenaline. As Sarah Rabdau commented afterward: “Your band was what happens when burly men get together.” 

Overall, One Night Band was one of the great experiences of my life. I feel grateful not only to my bandmates, but to all the other musicians that took part in this crazy, wonderful experiment. We are really blessed to be in this city with so many fantastic, talented, and genuinely nice people.

Except Duncan. That guy’s a turd.

Only one question remains: Champagne of Bands reunion?

Duncan’s Recap 
I did the One Night Band show, sponsored by Boston Band Crush Dot Com on Saturday. What an awesome experience. I had my doubts at first. I figured that we’d deal with the cover song first and then base the three originals on the cover. It didn’t go down that way. I paired up with Brendan Boogie (ex-Scamper, currently solo), Bo Barringer (MEandJOANCOLLINS), Tad McKitterick (Sidewalk Driver), and Cullen Corley (Electric Laser People/Kuuluuko). Yea, barely an ounce of punk rock anywhere (HA!).

So, Brendan thought that since there were a lot of songwriters/front men that each one should write their own tune and then teach it to the others. I never play power pop or ballads and they never play REAL MUSIC (just kidding, dudes). So Brendan wrote this super sappy pop song called “Boston Band Crush – The Song.” I’m talkin’ sugar on top of sugar, with spice, bubblegum, and Miley Cyrus in a compromised position all in one. 20 years of Punk Rock street cred exterminated in one afternoon.

Then Bo and Tad wrote this tripped out balled type tune with “oohs and ahhs” in it. At one point, they were deciding, “Should we do ‘oohs’ here or ‘ahhs’.” I never in my life wrote a song with “oohs” or “ahhs.” Brendan had never in his life written a song WITHOUT “oohs” or “ahhs.”

At another point I asked Bo what the chords were and he goes,  “Well… this is a D Minor 7th…” D MINOR 7TH? What the fuck is that? Look, if it goes, “chug, chug, chug, chug,” that’s called GOOD as far as I’m concerned.

Those dudes took a long time figuring out harmonies and all kinds of other stuff I never needed in my life. Thinking that Boston Band Crush was the theme, I wrote a Ramones-style punk rock song with a simple Hatebreed-eas breakdown about the Boston Band Crush people titled “Fuck It, Go (Boston Band Crush – The Song II).” It took two seconds to write and another 3 seconds to teach. Three originals done.

Then the cover. I told those dudes that I could play “Jailbreak” by Thin Lizzy and Bo was into it, but Tad wasn’t. Then I thought about “Here Comes Your Man” by the Pixies and everyone lighted up. Problem was, to nail the lead and figure it all out in an hour and a half wasn’t going to happen. Then someone (I think Tad) said what about “Monkey Gone To Heaven.” Done. It’s all one riff. I learned the riff. Bo handled the leads. Cover done.

The gig: we loaded in, watched the other bands, and played. First song, pretty good. Second song, didn’t know what was going on. Couldn’t hear shit. Brendan comes over and goes, “So far… train wreck. Oh well.” Third song, my song, pretty good. Then we played The Pixies and that was the shit.

Covered in sweat, I threw my guitar on the ground and walked off. That was rock. Then we did a fun interview with Sophia and it was over. Good times.

THE LYRICS

Boston Band Crush (The Song)

See you dance behind the keys
Downstairs at the Middle East
Thursday night CD release

Stage left behind the speaker
My knees are getting weaker

Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Sophia
Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Maria
Can’t get enough-ough-ough-ough of Angelina
You’re so fine
I’ve got a c-c-crush on you

Last night of the summer tour
Hipsters strewn about the floor
Give me just a little more

Red light hangs high above
Squint and you’ll be in love

Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Sophia
Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Maria
Can’t get enough-ough-ough-ough of Angelina
You’re so fine
I’ve got a c-c-crush on you

Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Sophia
Got a c-c-c-c-crush on Maria
Can’t get enough-ough-ough-ough of Angelina
You’re so fine
I’ve got a c-c-crush on you

I went online today
I saw my name displayed
They called me ‘Wizard Hands’
They got me lots of fans

They are so nice to me
They make me feel so free
They are some righteous dudes
They put me in the mood

Mike, Sophie, and Ash
They have so much class
They are so rad for this
Raise my glass and fist