The Dolphinspiracy/Dolphinocalypse 2012: Destroy Disgusting Dolphin Deviance

We bring you another entry in our continuing series on the Dolphinspiracy/Dolphinpocalypse of 2012. As the dolphins move closer and closer every day toward the destruction of humanity, we continue our fight on the space front. I can now reveal the classified information that The Michael J. Epstein Memorial Library leads Earth’s army against the alien dolphins’ space assault. In the meantime, I am extremely unhappy to report that here on Earth, our aquatic foes have moved into phase II of their attack. They have begun trying to mate with humans and to use their deviance as a way to tear apart human confidence. The Dolphin Bible prohibits this behavior, but that will not stop them…

Ledolphicus 18:23

And you shall not lie with any human and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any dolphiness give herself to a human to lie with it: it is perversion.
Here are some of the tragic documented attacks…